Phil version 2.0

  Positive start …          …  but it goes rather downhill after that! Apart from some of my earliest posts, I think you would agree that this blog is painting a fairly uplifting picture. For the most part, I am indeed coming around to a more positive outlook and upon regular reflection, my life is nowhere near as bad as I have sometimes considered it to be   I am however keen for this blog to be an honest account.  My journey continues to progress  (and  I am in a far better position than used to be the case ), but things remain far from perfect   and there are quite a few issues that still trouble me (and sometimes, quite deeply!).    Please forgive me for darkening things, but I would like to mention a few of these.  I am not doing so out of any sense of self-pity – I just want to paint as full a picture, as possible.    As I’m sure you can imagine:   This post isn’t too easy to write   Ok, deep breath – and here goes:   I would like to take a look at  just some  of the above charac

  “Whisper the day away Whisper one day away You make headway”  (Kristin Hersh 1997) My original plan was for this post to be devoted solely, to my experiences of the brain injury charity, “Headway”.      Typing Kristin Hersh’s above lyrics did, however, inspire some positive thinking which, if you don’t mind, I would like to share with you.    These thoughts are not particularly profound, and I’ve alluded to similar ones in earlier posts. I do though, think that it is worth delaying the main content of this post, for a few moments.  If nothing else, if I say things often enough, I might start to believe them!   The gist of the lyrics seems to be that little-by-little (and, perhaps tentatively – “whisper”) progress can and will be made.      I have previously talked about my “journey” through post-injury, life. BUT I don’t want that journey to be downward or flat – I want it to be  onwards and and upwards .    To me, Kristin’s use of the word “headway” is indicative of such positive tr

I don’t know how I feel about  it … I have already referred to Phil v2.0’s  emotional difficulties . To date, my focus (such as it is!) has been on depression and self-loathing.  I would now like to delve a little deeper into a couple of other emotional issues that affect me.    In practice, their manifestation (to myself and to outsiders) and in some respects their cause, involves both cognition and behaviour. Nevertheless, so far as the following are concerned, the key underlying factor is emotion. I therefore tend to think of these as emotional issues. Who knows what somebody who knows a bit about it would say but if I may adopt a highly educated acronym –  WTF!   The 2 challenges that I propose to look at here, can be summarised as:   ·        Emotional confusion ; and ·        Difficulties with emotional memory   Taking these in turn, I will start by mentioning  alexithymia.    This is actually, a “grown-up” term for emotional confusion and it is something that I have been diagnos

“Paperback Writer”   (Lennon - McCartney 1966) Welcome to the next instalment of how I spend some of my newly available time – and with hindsight, a great deal of it is as enjoyable (or more so) than in the old days!   And indeed, the song title does have some relevance – but, for reasons that will become apparent and with utmost pedantry, “ iPad Reader”  might have been a more accurate title.   Having learned a couple of weeks ago, that books shouldn’t be read by their covers, it’s now time to start turning the pages – and I mean that, quite literally:   One of the things that Phil v2.0 does nowadays, is spend a lot more time  reading for pleasure , than was the case with earlier versions of himself.   Before the head bump, most of my reading material was work related. Reading for  pleasure - and not out of necessity , constitutes a very big change. I’ll go a stage further than the oft cited “different isn’t necessarily worse”. In this case,  different is a damn sight better!    In su

When is a blog not a blog? When it’s actually a therapeutic activity ...   As I’ve said a fair few times, the ways in which I spend my time are of great importance to me.    You will accordingly, be unsurprised to hear (in part because I told you in an earlier post!) that as this blog progresses  it will provide a degree of insight into some of the things that I do and which make me feel a little better about myself.   And, where else to start, than the creation and publication of this blog?   Like other activities already (and to be) mentioned, writing and sharing this blog seems to  afford some protection of my mental health . As such, it can indeed be seen as a form of therapy, in its own right.   As with other activities, the time spent on it, leaves me with less time in which to feel fretful.    One thing that I have grieved for, is intellectual stimulation .    Given his job, the pre-accident Phil had plenty of that (with hindsight, perhaps rather too much). Given its style and c