“Actions speak louder than words” 

(John Pym 1628)

 

You might recall that last time I looked at my use of cognition, in order to address emotional problems.  I made the point at the end though, that for myself, thinking my way out of a feeling doesn’t always do the trick and I could do with looking for something else, in the “toolbox”.

 

Bearing in mind that I have been talking about the employment of my psychological functions in order to work on a “broken” one (emotion); the other thing that I have tried to use, is behaviour, and this is the one that really seems to work best for me.

 

At risk of appearing to digress (but please bear with me for a moment!) as I mentioned in an earlier instalment, I can no longer go to work and the loss of this activity, been a big source of regret and distress.  But, as I’ve also said, some losses might alternatively be framed as opportunities.  The fact that I no longer practice law is of course a loss – if nothing else, it has drastically, reduced my sense of self-worth. But hey, it’s also an opportunity to take advantage of the value of activity to me - I have a lot more time on my hands to do things; and these include many that are rather more pleasurable than many hours sat in stressful meetings and the like! 

 

I think that the use of behaviour to raise my mood, works in a few different ways:  

 

First, it serves as a distraction – if I’m busy, then it is less easy to spend time feeling sorry for myself.

 

Perhaps more importantly though, what I am doing, might be enjoyable, in its own right.  Perhaps it goes without saying, that this is not a lot of use, if I don’t notice what I am doing and that it is enjoyable.  I have however, previously mentioned the importance of an enhanced focus on the present and this is, very much a case in point.  If nothing else, I do try to look back over the day and reflect on how I have spent my time.  I might not have noticed an enjoyable activity while doing it, but at least, retrospective and positive reflection can make me feel better.

 

At risk of undue negativity, another potential hindrance to my use of behaviour, is a personal tendency towards worry. In contemplation of an activity, I will often find myself fretting over related and negative “what ifs”.  Then, if I actually do it (and I must confess that, sometimes I don’t), my fears are very often proven to be unjustified. In respect of something which I alluded to in the last post, it is a clear example of unwarranted concern over the uncertain future.Over time, I have come to realise that this is the case and am trying (not always with success!) to be a little bolder and try not to fret, over things that might not happen and even if they did, are in reality, nothing much to be afraid of!


 (Susan Jeffers 2017)

Or to put it another way

 

“JFDI” (Phil v2.0 2020) – if you don’t know what it means, then ask your kids and see if they dare to answer!

 

In addition to the above matters of generality, the advantages of behaviour can in some circumstances, be a little more specific. Quite apart from it giving me something else to think about; and being useful and enjoyable etc, things that I do, might actually chip away at some specific sources of my negativity. Let me give you a quick example:

 

The importance of behaviour to me, has brought me into close contact with the occupational therapy profession.  I am a recipient of the same and in such capacity, have developed a new interest in it. As this has been nurtured, I have received a number of speaking opportunities. These include the joint delivery of guest lectures to university OT students and seemingly these have been well received.  A very important opportunity for myself though, was that last year I was (I am proud to say) invited to be the closing plenary speaker at the annual conference of their national professional body (RCOT).  This involved the delivery of a presentation to a few hundred people! In an earlier paragraph, I mentioned a diminished sense of self-worth and as you will have gathered, this is something that contributes massively, to my low moods. BUT in this paragraph, the words “I am proud to say” appear.  Surely this is a clear example of an activity (speaking) providing an enhanced sense of self-worth - an attack on a source of my distress. It is not the same as matters in which I used to engage, but as I said in an earlier post, “different isn’t necessarily worse”!

 

Just before we leave the occupational therapy profession, there is something that I would like to share:

 

Through my involvement with them, I have picked up a spot of their jargon (OTspeak!). One piece that makes me smile, is “meaningful occupation in facilitation of emotional wellbeing”. Why not just say:

 

 “doing stuff cos it cheers you up”! 

 

In “Politics and the English Language” (1946) George Orwell set out some principles of effective writing.  These included “… Never use a long word where a short one will do” and “… If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out”. I guess he wouldn’t have been too taken with that OTspeak.  Furthermore though, and having read back over it, I doubt he would have been impressed with this whole post, so I’d better end with a quick summary:

 

·      How I fill my time, is really important to me

·      Keeping busy, gives me less time to feel miserable

·      In any event, many of the things that I do are enjoyable 

·      A full and active lifestyle can at times, make me feel that Phil v2.0 isn’t such a bad bloke, after all! 

 

 





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