Domestic bliss ...



Well, maybe not “bliss”, but “domestic” jobs, anyway


... and yesterday was certainly a “domestic” day, for me.  In the course of a single day, I did all of the following:

 

·      Bedding changed

·      Laundry completed and dried

·      House cleaned top to bottom

·      Main weekly food shop bought; and

·      Pasta sauce prepared for this evening’s meal

 

I guess most of us spend a fair amount of time on these kind of things – I certainly do! 

 

But rather than feeling smug about my achievements, on reflection I should bear in mind that a day like this doesn’t exactly assist with fatigue management and it makes a strong case for better advance planning - did I really need to do them all, in one day? I doubt it!

 

I am however less tired than you might imagine as I did benefit from the assistance of a care worker.

 

 By way of some background ...

 

Therapists will often describe activities such as these, to be “ADLs” – activities of daily living. 

 

The term “ADLs” can be used to describe very basic behaviours such as dressing, eating and attending to personal hygiene. I am blessed with no problems (past or present) in this regard.

 

Engagement in tasks of the kind that I undertook yesterday, are treated as a form of occupation, on a slightly different level. By this, I mean the “nice to haves”, rather than the “must haves”. Such occupations are really a sub-category of ADLs and are sometimes referred to as “IADLs” – instrumental activities of daily living. Work in IADLs will often consist of the provision of training in them, so as to work towards a more independent lifestyle, on the part of its recipient. In this sense, IADLs therapy can be seen as instructional. It is assistance with the performance of IADLs that I receive

 

I must confess that this is something which has at times, troubled me a little. 

 

The reason for this is an occasional feeling that that helpful as it may be, assistance in these areas is largely unnecessary - a view that I am perfectly capable of cleaning and shopping etc alone and that the involvement of someone else, evidences an underestimation of my abilities.

 

Given that I can already do these things the role of my care workers in these areas, doesn’t feel particularly “instructional”

 

On reflection there is good reason why not, and that is ...

 

That it isn’t “instructional”!

 

I am gradually coming to appreciate that there is much more to this than the purely practical help provided. I would even go so far as to consider this practical assistance as incidental to the key role of my care workers in all of this. Tangible help is actually being provided for the main purpose of maintaining my mental wellbeing and it should not be construed as simply giving me a (self-perceived as unnecessary) hand with some tasks, so as to shorten my daily “job list” and help me to do things on my own, in the future.

 

So – how does the help proffered actually assist my mental state?

 

First, a helping hand assists me with memory and organisational issues.  This is particularly important in the case of food shopping trips. Before we set off, I will if needed, be provided with prompts about things such as shopping bags and a trolley token.  When in the shop, I will be reminded of things that I might need, over and above those on my shopping list – and so on and so on ....  Getting this sort of stuff wrong would only result in a minor irritation for most – but for me, I tend now, towards an exaggerated and negative emotional response. It is therefore best to get things right at the outset and my care workers help me to do this.

 

Of particular help in achieving a positive mental state though (and this applies across the board with domestic duties), is a sense of joint enterprise. The carers and I are working together in order to achieve an agreed goal. In doing so they are working with me, rather than for me. I find this to be empowering and contributory towards a more positive outlook.

 

Finally, this sense of teamwork is rather important to me, as it battles feelings of occupational isolation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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