“Pride comes before a fall”

 

(or words to that effect - Proverbs 16:18)

 



Wise words indeed, but for today, I am not planning to extoll the virtues of humility. In the current context, I am using the word “pride” in the conventional sense of a feeling of self-worth. My “fall” though, is the one that I experienced 10 years ago, and which rather, changed my life. As we will see, the word “before” is pretty important!

 

As will become apparent, the contents of this post, lend themselves to a sense of boastfulness.  I assure you that this isn’t my intention and by way of anticipatory compensation, I’ll try to keep it pretty short ...  

 

This subject matter was inspired by a conversation I recently had with a care worker. Up until not long ago, he worked overseas as a senior HR executive for a “household name” major corporation. Having just been made redundant, he now finds himself employed in the care industry, in which he delivers day to day care.

 

In some ways, our positions are similar.  Having worked as a senior international lawyer for some years, this was snatched away from me in an instant.  I hope that this blog is painting an ongoing picture of my life since this happened. Suffice to say for now, that the life of Phil v2.0 is very different to that of his predecessor.

 

 With hindsight I feel fairly proud of myself, before the accident. I lived with my family and believe that we were a happy domestic unit. I also pursued a successful career. In short (and at risk of misguided arrogance!), I considered myself to be a good husband, father and solicitor. As per earlier posts, I now live alone and can no longer engage in renumerated employment. As a result, I can’t help but sometimes feel myself to be a failure at my former roles. For this reason, I often struggle to feel very proud of Phil v2.0 and would even go so far as to say that I don’t always like him, very much!

 

It is therefore worth reflecting on things that might provide an alternative sense of self-worth. 

 

I am of course fighting to build a new and full lifestyle. I also wish it to be worthwhile, in the sense of producing a satisfying sense of self-worth.

 

On detailed reflection, I have come up with a few things that are indeed a source of some pride. Maybe things aren’t quite as bad as I have considered them to be.

 

Here are a few examples: 

 

 First, all is not lost ...

 

It is true to say that I can no longer operate as a hands-on family man. 

 

But

 

I am indeed still, a family man. I have a family that I love (and I believe that the feeling is mutual!). It is just that we no longer live in the same house. In this respect, things have moved on ...

 

But, don’t all family dynamics alter as life goes on? – for example, children grow older and in due course, leave home. I do find it easier to accept the current family arrangements (and even feel a little proud of my role in them), when I consider them to be little more than another linear development – and one for which I am not to blame! 

 

Next we have the writing of this blog itself. I doubt that it is read by very many, but from some of those that do dip into it, I have received some fantastic feedback.  For example, an email received yesterday, included these words:

 

“Thanks so much for sharing. This is a wonderful piece”; and

 

“I’m sure your words are reaching many others in need and are helping them daily”.

 

More widely, I seem to have now become “professionally” (not that I am paid for it!) engaged as a brain injured person! 

 

In this capacity, I:

 

·      Write this blog;

 

·      Have given various talks and lectures - and in respect of these, I have been described as "inspirational" on more than one occasion; and

 

·      Serve as a committee member for my local branch of Headway (a national charity in favour of the brain injured). I was asked to be a “main” speaker at its (now postponed) national conference and have organised some “lockdown” activities for our branch service users.

 

 

Beyond brain injury inspired activity:

 

·      For most of the life of Phil v2.0, he has undertaken voluntary work on a weekly basis, for a charity which assists the visually and hearing impaired. In addition to direct work for this organisation, I have been involved in a number of its fundraising activities. 

 

·      Through contact with the hearing impaired accordingly, I have been inspired to take up learning British Sign Language and have obtained an initial qualification in the same.

 

These are just a few examples of things that might be considered as constituent elements of a lifestyle that is not only full, but it might also be quite worthwhile!

 

It isn’t the same as it once was, but as I’ve said very many times before:

 

“Different isn’t necessarily worse”

 

 

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