“I've been mad 


for f**king years ...”


Pink Floyd 1973



 

But I am sad 

- not mad!

 

 

You might have noticed that this post is published rather later, than usual ...

 

... There’s a good reason for this - I’d written a long and rambling piece and then decided (with guidance) at the last moment, to rip it up and start again!

 

Its replacement is pretty short - you will no doubt, be pleased to hear!

 

What I’m thinking about now, is how I see myself and how others see me. In particular, the manner in which I would rather not be described (nor see myself in such a way) and my preference in this respect:

 

Nick Mason of Pink Floyd, might have thought of himself, as “mad”, and that view, may well have been shared, but I don’t like it, myself. To adopt more formal and polite terminology, I am also uncomfortable with the description, “mentally ill”.

 

Of course, such expressions might be used as euphemisms, for precise and individualised psychological states, but I worry a little, about the extent to which they can be interpreted in a holistic sense - and there seems to be a dangerous possibility, of this. I would welcome greater clarity, as to my own status and do not wish to see myself, nor be seen as mentally disabled, in any sense wider, than is necessary and appropriate. As you know, a very big issue for me is, excessive depression - as such, “I am sad - not mad”

 

I am keen to avoid any possibility of being “defined” by my mental challenges. I am not mad nor mentally ill - I am Phil (albeit Phil v2.0), who happens to have some particular psychological difficulties.

 

As just alluded to, it goes without saying that Phil v2.0 battles some mental issues, but these are only some of his characteristics, among many others - some positive and some less so. You can decide! There is so much more to me, than the psychological outcomes of my accident and (at risk of repetition) they do not define me.

 

First and foremost - I am Phil v2.0.

 

Another issue with overarching labels such as “mad” and “mentally ill”, are the negative stereotypes that can be attached thereto (by others and even, by myself).

 

These will often, arise from ignorance and misunderstanding. 

 

Let’s look very briefly at a few examples and the cartoon at the outset provides them ...

 

A common misconception is that the mentally ill are dangerous. The chap in the picture certainly looks that way - and this is one thing that is not explicitly commented upon - I think we can take that as manifestly implicit!


We will often hear about acts of violence that are committed by the mentally infirm. These though, are very much the exception, rather than the norm. I don’t think that I pose a physical threat - but can’t be sure, so you’d better avoid winding me up, too much!

 

Looking at what is actually said ...

 

Did he bring it on himself? In short - probably not. People don’t normally exhibit (genuinely) psychotic tendencies (nor the underlying psychosis), as a matter of choice.

 

The idea that a mental disorder is self-inflicted, is not necessarily a view that is exclusive to third parties. I myself have at times, felt guilty about my mental state and the effect that it has on others. 

 

Moving on ... attention seeking. 

 

This implies a falsification of symptoms and an underlying absence of their apparent, cause. Maybe some are in this situation, but very far from, necessarily everyone. I can certainly plead not guilty, on this one!

 

“Faking it” ... ditto!

 

And “A burden on society” ... well maybe not, but if they are, then isn’t this also true, of so many people who are physically ill? I rather, think that society should foot the bill irrespective of the nature of the illness.

 

I honestly believe that some greater precision, rather than the use of (possibly insulting!) blanket terms might help to straighten out some of this stuff.

 

 

“They say I'm mental, but I'm just confused”

 

(Eels 1996)

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  This one isn’t so much about me – more, my youngest son, and his recent triumphs.   That is not to say that my other children have underachieved.  Quite the opposite . They have provided me with (and continue to do so) very many sources of pride.   Given that the following events are very recent though, in this post , the spotlight falls on their younger brother...   First, his A level results:   Perhaps needless to say, he didn’t achieve  an  A grade.   He got  three  of them, and has secured a place at Cambridge, to read English.   In the past, I’ve told him that, rather than striving for academic excellence, it is better to be a star footballer and fearsome fighter. As you can tell, he didn’t heed this advice!   Jokes apart , I am immensely pleased for him .   And, if that isn’t enough...   Last month, the theatre company , that he founded presented a play at Edinburgh Fringe   I understand that acceptance by the festival is, something of an honour.   But:    Not only did he act t
Read more
Image
“That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are”   (Chumbawamba 1990)   I have previously mentioned, my involvement with  the South Manchester and Stockport branch of Headway – the brain injury association.    Our branch is charitable and non-trading. Accordingly, we can only spend for the benefit of our members, money that we can raise from charitable sources. Perhaps needless to say, we are on the  constant lookout for charitable funds.    An obvious source of these, are  donations.   Saturday 7 October, saw the culmination of a fundraising exercise, that generated donations, amounting to  more than £800!   A team of three senior corporate lawyers (old colleagues of mine), competed in my local parkrun, and obtained sponsorship for their efforts.   They gave up their normal Saturday
Read more
Image
  The “star” of this post is my eldest son. As you might recall, he is an actor.   This Christmas, I had the delight of seeing him in the Royal Exchange Theatre’s Christmas presentation.   It was a theatrical adaptation of the Noel Coward film, “Brief Encounter”.   Despite its immense acclaim, I have never seen the film, nor had any burning desire, to do so.   I did, though, thoroughly enjoy the play, and might check out the movie, accordingly.   First, I really took to the story, with its bittersweet connotations.   For those who know the story, here’s a question for you...   Is it a happy or sad ending?   I accept that the course of action taken, was the “right” thing to do. Nevertheless, I tend towards “sad”.   Perhaps I am, intrinsically immoral?!   More important than the story though, was the immensely high standard of the acting  - and that includes my son!   As a Christmas production, an element of levity was introduced, through the inclusion of live music, songs, and dance.  
Read more