“I refuse (absolutely) to be limited and defined, by what I can't do ...” (Craig Lock 2015)

  

This post will be, little more than an important; and stern pep talk, to myself.

 

I will start with (what is for me) a very bold statement:

 

“I am not defined by my brain injury”!

 

“.. and most certainly, not by any (self-perceived), negative outcomes of it”

 

I really need this pep talk, because it is a view that I have really struggled with and (albeit it to a reduced extent) continue to find, rather problematic.

Much of the reason for writing this, is a desire to firm up on that belief - maybe, if I say it often enough, I might start to believe it!

 

So - being positive (for a change!) ...

 

What really defines us, is the holistic sum of our many characteristics (be they practical, physical, or mental - including, of course, our actions).

 

Only a certain number of these can be said to have been derived from my brain injury.  It is therefore wrong to identify myself as nothing more than a (negatively!) brain injured, individual.

 

 There is a lot more to me, than the outcomes of my brain injury.  Note that the expressions “Phil v1.0” and “Phil v2.0” have something in common - “Phil”!

 

I am “not brain injured Phil”.  I am “Phil, who happens to have survived a brain injury”. This has changed some things about me, but not everything - and the changes are not always for the worse! 

 

Just to give you a few brief examples:

 

·      I still have (and am close to) my family and friends

 

·      I retain much of my former personality

 

·      I continue to pursue many of my pre-accident hobbies and interests - albeit, with some adaptations - and with no longer going to work, I have much more time, in which to enjoy them!

 

·      And let’s not forget - I remain “drop dead gorgeous”!

 

 

I might be a brain injury survivor, but that person is still Phil and the outcomes of the injury, only constitute some of my characteristics - there are plenty of others, as well.

 

Let’s also not forget that we all change as we progress through life anyway - we move from version to version.  The move to Phil v2.0 was a pretty big leap, but it didn’t constitute such a fundamental re-write as to render me a completely new person, who is defined by little more than the (negative) outcomes of the accident - there is a lot more to me than that! The “old” Phil hasn’t disappeared and been replaced by a new one.  He has just moved on to a new version of himself.  This cries out for some “version control” - but that’s another story ...

 

It is wrong of me to identify, as nothing other than a bundle of the (negative) outcomes, of my brain injury. These might have changed me, but I’m still me

 

Alteration is not synonymous with elimination

 

A quotation from Michael Stipe, which I use with some regularity, seems like an appropriate way to wind this up ...

 

“I guess a three-legged dog is still a dog. It just has to learn how to run differently”

 

I am still Phil, and slowly but surely, I am learning how to “run differently”!

 

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