“Say hey, good lookin', 

What you got cookin'?” 


(Hank Williams 1951)





... there is certainly some cooking going on, but I’m not sure that I share the sentiment expressed in the first line!

 

The event which lies behind this post, was a barbeque, that I attended last night. It was a birthday celebration for the spatula wielding chap, in the above photo – attended by a few old friends.

 

Lockdown has, of course rather curtailed, all our social lives.


This group of people have remained in contact – albeit online. I can’t speak for everyone else but I (at least) am getting rather “out Zoomed”. Given that the restrictions are becoming more relaxed, a gathering of this type, is now permissible, and accordingly, the opportunity was duly taken.

 

Late me start with a little positivity:

 

It was good to catch up with folk and to be able to speak in a relaxed manner, for more than 40 minutes!

 

Unlike online chats, face to face meetings such as this, permit one-to-one (or smaller group) conversations (rather than one in which everybody takes part). This is of course, more facilitative of discourse on topics that are of particular interest to the participants. For example, this chap and I, had a lengthy conversation about bass guitars – I am far from convinced that many (any?!) others would have relished such talk!

 

He donned the shades, immediately before the picture was taken – perhaps, to look “cool”! Well – did he succeed?





All in all, a beer in a garden, on a sunny evening, with old friends felt rather like something of a return to the olden days. It was enjoyable accordingly.

 

BUT (now what did you expect!) The occasion was not, entirely without difficulties for me.

 

Nothing as exciting as this ...



But rather, some things that are, somewhat more personal and subtle:

 

·      In the last post, I talked about some, social issues arising from damage to my memory. 

 

Although I can remember some things (and in certain cases, quite clearly) about most of the attendees, there are quite significant gaps and haziness, in between those spaces. It sometimes feels to me, as though (at least in part), I no longer know the person, with whom I am speaking.

 

·      I am gradually becoming more and more aware, of a new tendency to misinterpret what is said to me. I am also mindful of an increased ability to say the wrong thing. For this reason (among the others mentioned in this post), I now tend to shun, casual social, interaction.

 

·      I find an excess of conversation to be, quite mentally draining – and as I’ve said, a few times before, this state tends to lower my mood and I sometimes feel the need for restful solitude.

 

For this reason, last night I excused myself after an hour or so.  While quite a few of my friends seemed, particularly understanding, a few expressed surprise at my departure and appeared regretful of a lack of opportunity to talk with me. This left me feeling a little guilty – I nevertheless left. 

 

·      For all these reasons, I found myself worrying about the forthcoming barbeque, earlier in the day.

 

Not a perfect experience, accordingly!

 

So, what should I do about it?

 

·      Spend a little more time in the company of these people and start to get to know them again.

 

·      Try to avoid an immediate and instinctive jump, to an inappropriate and negative conclusion. Leave some subtle gaps in the conversation, to facilitate internal reflection and perhaps give the other person space for clarification. I should also try to (momentarily), think before I speak.

 

·      Those who seemed to understand and appreciate, my need for mental rest, tended to be persons who have significant knowledge of my mental predicaments. It isn’t always easy, but I must (without appearing to crave sympathy) be more open with people as to my difficulties, and spread more widely, that knowledge.

 

·      Stop worrying so much. Surely by now, I am learning that things will often turn out to be, less difficult than I fear - and this barbeque provided a perfect example!

 

I promise to try my best! 




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