Sorry – my mind’s gone blank ...


The accident affected several my cognitive functions, and large among these is massive memory loss.

 Both my long and short-term memory has been significantly and adversely affected.

 

Regarding the former, I now have some very large empty spaces. For example, I no longer have any recollection of my youngest son being born.

 

A major source of memory related distress is a loss of what should be, happy memories. I have little recollection of my children growing up and this includes family holidays/days out and birthdays etc. I find it very hard to remember how they liked to spend their time and who their close friends were. I can’t even recall the dates of their birthdays!

 

More generally and beyond that, I firmly believe that we are shaped by our experiences. I can’t help but sometimes feel, that their elimination through my accident, amounts to theft of a part of me. 

 

From a practical perspective, I have needed (and to an extent, continue to need) to re-learn many things. For example, I am told (I can’t remember it happening) that, among other things, an occupational therapist had to show me how to shop, again. 

 

Re-learning such “activities of daily living” (OT speak) isn’t the end of it. I have also had to learn again, the pursuit of some leisure activities.  For example, I now play some of the musical instruments that were a source of pleasure to Phil 1.0 (or more accurately, Phil v1.?). In many cases, I have had to start learning them again, from a very low level (or maybe I was always a bit useless, at playing them!)

 

It’s not just memory loss as such. In so far as I have memories, I am told that some of these are flawed – I can misremember. 

 

A big issue for me with flawed memory, concerns emotional memories. I find it far from easy to re-learn liking and love (and of course, the contrary!).

 

It also causes me some problems, from a social perspective – friends tend to speak reminiscently. An absence of shared recollection means, that I often don’t enjoy such conversations, very much.

 

My short-term memory is also flawed, and this necessitates the need for very many written reminders.

 

So – what can be done about it?

 

I am gradually learning that a good strategy, is an enhanced focus on the future. Memories are necessarily concerned with the past and looking forward rather than backwards, seems to be a better approach for me. 

 

I have lost memories, but should focus more, on the creation of new memories.

 

I think I do need, more than just the “creation” of new memories. I, also need to retain them.

 

A good way of doing this, is through the keeping of written/pictorial record.    

 

I guess that this blog is a good example of the former.

 

And here’s an example of a reminder of what my grandson looked like at 10 weeks – everybody say “ahhh”.





But anyway, memory loss isn’t, always all that bad - there are some things that we would rather not remember!




But the elimination of those memories might be, rather a case, of:




 

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  The “star” of this post is my eldest son. As you might recall, he is an actor.   This Christmas, I had the delight of seeing him in the Royal Exchange Theatre’s Christmas presentation.   It was a theatrical adaptation of the Noel Coward film, “Brief Encounter”.   Despite its immense acclaim, I have never seen the film, nor had any burning desire, to do so.   I did, though, thoroughly enjoy the play, and might check out the movie, accordingly.   First, I really took to the story, with its bittersweet connotations.   For those who know the story, here’s a question for you...   Is it a happy or sad ending?   I accept that the course of action taken, was the “right” thing to do. Nevertheless, I tend towards “sad”.   Perhaps I am, intrinsically immoral?!   More important than the story though, was the immensely high standard of the acting  - and that includes my son!   As a Christmas production, an element of levity was intro...
Read more
Image
  “The music never stopped”   (The Grateful Dead 1975) Not someone who is  gratefully dead...   ... more a case of someone who is  grateful, not to be so !     As I have, previously alluded to, music constitutes a very large and important part of my life.    This is not an entirely new form of behavior... it has been a characteristic of mine, since early childhood. Hence, the above Grateful Dead quotation, is rather appropriate!   As we will see though, aspects of it, have however been  affected by consequences of my accident.    Cutting to the chase...   My involvement with music, now takes several forms. Namely...   ·        Listening ·        Playing ·        Composing; and ·        Recording   So, first:   ·        Listening to it   Listening to r...
Read more
Image
  As you might have guessed from the picture, in this post I’m going to address an aspect of ancient Greek/Roman philosophy; namely, Stoicism.     Among other things, the considerations and teaching of Stoics, concerned emotions, and an elimination or reduction, of negative feelings.   Right up my street, and well worthy of further exploration!   First, please bear in mind that:   In modern usage, a “stoical” approach, is seen as one that is bereft of emotion.     It is often, considered to be a bad thing.   The reason behind this, is that many emotions are positive, and someone who doesn’t feel such things, tends to be looked upon negatively.   Ancient Stoics though, were not, however, advocating an emotionless existence, and were fully  supportive of positive feelings.   There are, of course though, negative emotions, such as anger and hate etc.   It is these kinds of things, that they were seeking to minimise. ...
Read more