“The evening’s the best part of the day. You’ve done your day’s work. Now you can put your feet up and enjoy it.”

 

(Kazuo Ishiguro 1989)




My motivation for this post was, again a book that I have just finished reading - this time, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro.

 

In the context of the quotation, the word “day” is an analogous reference to a whole lifespan.  

 

At the end of the book, its ageing narrator ponders some issues concerning his past, and much of this, is with a sense of (express or implied) regret. For example: 

 

·      A past, fervent loyalty, to a former employer - who didn’t deserve such unquestioning support

 

·      A failure to grasp an opportunity, for a loving relationship; and

 

·      A latter-day diminishment of his, professional capabilities

 

Upon sharing these thoughts with a stranger, he is encouraged to focus, rather less on the past; and to relish the potential enjoyment of “The Remains of the Day”.

 

These events might have happened, but they are nevertheless things of the past and at some point, a line, ought to be drawn under them - close the curtains and move on! By doing so, space can be made for relaxation in the “evening”.

 

As you might have gathered, Phil v2.0’s own mind, is much troubled with past events, and it would be good to clear some of these away; take comfort in the fact that they are behind me; and seek a more restful conclusion to my “day”.

 

The most obvious earlier happenings on which I dwell, are the fact of my accident and its adverse consequences.

 

On reflection though:

 

·      While their, ongoing consequences might be capable of mitigation (and the act of writing this blog is a good example!), events themselves, cannot be wished away - history cannot be re-written.  Whether retaining a headful of regrets serves any positive purpose is debateable - to say the, very least!

 

·      Further and as, I’ve said very many times, it is always worth me considering whether, a supposed “adverse consequence”, is really all that “adverse”, after all - maybe, at times I am worrying over nothing?!

 

My head bump and its outcomes aren’t the only past events that I tend to dwell upon, though.

 

Tonight, the clocks are turned back an hour - and the clock on my oven is such a technical challenge, as to leave me satisfied with it telling the correct time for half of the year!

 

Anyway, it isn’t just this clock that shouts for a turning back.  I tend to crave a rolling back of my own clock.

 

Now, we are not talking about:

 

·      An hour!

 

nor ...

 

·      To the time, immediately before my accident, such that I can take steps to avoid it - understandable, but, obviously impossible (and of course, Phil v2.0’s accident-related knowledge would need to travel back too - if it wasn’t hard enough, anyway!)

 

What I do find myself wanting to do though, is to travel ...

 

·      Even further back in time, and reignite some old friendships and activities, from significant periods, before the birth of Phil v2.0.

 

I am starting to learn though, that such an exercise is fraught with difficulties. At risk of stating the obvious, Phil v2.0 is a new person and to superimpose him onto bygone circumstances, will (I am finding) often be unsuccessful. Relationship dynamics will be altered, and sources of pleasure will have changed - not mention that some re-ignition will be impossible or at least difficult!

 

It perhaps goes without saying, that this route, must be very carefully traversed, and it is often safer to focus more, what is in my life now, rather than what used to be in it.

 

Overall...

 

I really must find time to steer my thoughts in a more forward-facing direction. 

 

I should think, rather less about my history, and seek to savour... 

 

 

 


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