I don’t know how I feel about that …



 

One outcome of my injury is that I now exhibit so called alexithymic traits.

 

This means that my emotional intelligence is not as it once was; and this can create problems for myself and for others.

 

The word “alexithymia” is used to describe, several interrelated issues, including difficulties in understanding emotional situations; and unusual (and, frequently extreme and inappropriate) reactions to emotions that arise.

 

Regarding my difficulties in appreciating how myself, and others, are really feeling: 


A significant issue for me, is an exaggeration of unwanted emotion.

 

A feeling might arise, and my thoughts can blow it out of proportion.

 

Things that would irritate most others, can make me very angry indeed! 

 

Similarly (and frequently) things that should only make me, a little upset, can feel more like a source of devastation. 

 

Another issue for me, can arise where something generates more than one emotion. I might miss, or underestimate, or exaggerate the strength of one or more, of them.

 

An activity might be eagerly anticipated, and an ancillary feeling of caution can be so played down, as to place me in a dangerous situation.

 

That said, I am striving to ensure that I don’t go too far, in the other direction.  I should seek to ensure that a negative emotion isn’t allowed to inappropriately eliminate its positive counterpart. To give a current example; I was looking forward to a walk this afternoon. I do however fear that it might rain; and had decided to work on this, instead.

 

Right - time to practice what I (self) preach! Coat on, and I’ll be back in an hour or two (seriously!)

 

There - 5 miles later!

 

It did, indeed rain, but I enjoyed it, nevertheless.


To reiterate, I was worried about getting wet.  When I posted about mindfulness, a few posts ago, I suggested not worrying about the future too much, as it is uncertain.  On reflection, there is more to this, than a simple case of “it might never happen”. Additionally, it might, indeed happen, but neither it, nor its consequences are as bad as one had feared. I am gradually learning that worry ranks highly among my exaggerated emotions, and I am trying to teach myself to do rather less of it.

 

The other side of all this, is my perception of, and behavior in respect of, the feelings of others.

 

The emotions of others can be missed or misread.

 

A particular issue for myself, arises from misreading the emotions that someone else exhibits.  I tend to exaggerate negativity (or what I often wrongly perceive as negativity) and miss the real point.  

 

For example, somebody might be trying to help me by advising me to think and/or act in a different way.  I will, frequently, see the desire to assist as secondary (or even non-existent).  Instead, I will, often, feel criticised or restrained and take the view that the underlying feeling behind what is said to me, is hostility.  

 

And finally... 

 

Here’s a picture taken on today’s walk...



Surely worth the risk of a drop of rain!

 

 

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  This one isn’t so much about me – more, my youngest son, and his recent triumphs.   That is not to say that my other children have underachieved.  Quite the opposite . They have provided me with (and continue to do so) very many sources of pride.   Given that the following events are very recent though, in this post , the spotlight falls on their younger brother...   First, his A level results:   Perhaps needless to say, he didn’t achieve  an  A grade.   He got  three  of them, and has secured a place at Cambridge, to read English.   In the past, I’ve told him that, rather than striving for academic excellence, it is better to be a star footballer and fearsome fighter. As you can tell, he didn’t heed this advice!   Jokes apart , I am immensely pleased for him .   And, if that isn’t enough...   Last month, the theatre company , that he founded presented a play at Edinburgh Fringe   I understand that acceptance by the festival is, something of an honour.   But:    Not only did he act t
Read more
Image
“That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are That's how grateful we are, that's how grateful we are”   (Chumbawamba 1990)   I have previously mentioned, my involvement with  the South Manchester and Stockport branch of Headway – the brain injury association.    Our branch is charitable and non-trading. Accordingly, we can only spend for the benefit of our members, money that we can raise from charitable sources. Perhaps needless to say, we are on the  constant lookout for charitable funds.    An obvious source of these, are  donations.   Saturday 7 October, saw the culmination of a fundraising exercise, that generated donations, amounting to  more than £800!   A team of three senior corporate lawyers (old colleagues of mine), competed in my local parkrun, and obtained sponsorship for their efforts.   They gave up their normal Saturday
Read more
Image
  The “star” of this post is my eldest son. As you might recall, he is an actor.   This Christmas, I had the delight of seeing him in the Royal Exchange Theatre’s Christmas presentation.   It was a theatrical adaptation of the Noel Coward film, “Brief Encounter”.   Despite its immense acclaim, I have never seen the film, nor had any burning desire, to do so.   I did, though, thoroughly enjoy the play, and might check out the movie, accordingly.   First, I really took to the story, with its bittersweet connotations.   For those who know the story, here’s a question for you...   Is it a happy or sad ending?   I accept that the course of action taken, was the “right” thing to do. Nevertheless, I tend towards “sad”.   Perhaps I am, intrinsically immoral?!   More important than the story though, was the immensely high standard of the acting  - and that includes my son!   As a Christmas production, an element of levity was introduced, through the inclusion of live music, songs, and dance.  
Read more