I had every intention of using this post, for some quasi-philosophical ramblings, based upon an idea of Plato’s (and taken up, allegorically, by CS Lewis).

 

Things have however become rather taken over, by a recent event, which is of much more, immediate importance to me.

 

“Phew”, I hear you say!

 

As I have mentioned in other posts, I am now, partially sighted and walk with a white cane.

 

If that (and everything else!) isn’t enough, I awoke recently, with virtually no hearing!

 

Deaf as a post





Despite spending many hours at my local hospital, I remain none the wiser, as to what caused it. In the absence of any other explanation, I can only assume that it is a delayed consequence of bumping my head.

 

What I do know though, is that rather than pure hearing loss, it is severe tinnitus.

 

This means that certain background noises, are amplified to such an unusual and inconvenient (and sometimes, painful) extent, as to mask other, far more important sounds.

 

My ears are also playing tricks on me, and this exaggerated and excessive noise is supplemented by some further sounds that almost certainly don’t exist. EG birdsong indoors and snatches of non-existent background music. This is sometimes known as aural hallucination.

 

When the hospital was able to eliminate all background noise, it was found that my basic hearing was very similar to the last time that it was tested – a few years ago. The real root of the problem is therefore the stuff that is, now getting in the way.

 

It’s effect, is nevertheless akin to severe hearing loss.

 

I am pleased to report that the tinnitus does not obscure every other sound. Much of it, is indeed, still getting through.

 

Sadly, not some of the most important things for me, though...

 

Perhaps, of primary importance, I find the human voice, hard to comprehend.

 

Conversation has been (and to an extent, still is) very difficult. For a couple of days after the hearing loss, I could only pick up written communication.

 

I must admit, to having found this, to be particularly upsetting.

 

Apart from the inconvenience, being unable to hear people, can feel very isolating and lonely...

 

 Another big problem that I am encountering, involves listening to music.

 

I can usually hear it, but it simply doesn’t sound right.

 

The extent of this, varies, dependent upon what I am trying to listen to.

 

Music, that is melodically and rhythmically complex, will often sound very confusing and incorrect. I therefore must pick what I try to listen to, very carefully. It goes without saying, that I find this to be very limiting.

 

I now find that the tonality of a note, is altered, (to me) for the worse.

 

You might recall from the last post, my recent purchase of a new guitar. Prior to this hearing loss, I was astonished as to how good it sounded. Under the current circumstances, the expression that springs to mind, is: “nothing special”!

 

As I have said previously, listening to, writing, playing, and recording music is of extreme importance to me.

 

Any diminishment of this, is a source of great distress.  As to the almost complete elimination of these activities ... words, rather fail me!

 

Now, I usually end my blogs on an upbeat note...

 

...but this time, it’s not too easy!

 

Having suffered a lot of losses, since the accident, I am finding this one to be especially difficult, and upsetting...

 

Oh well - I’d better have a go at looking on the bright side...

 

·      First, the hearing loss seems to be gradually improving.  

 

I’m not sure why this is the case, but...

 

o   I have been taking steroids, and of course, these might have had a positive effect.

 

o   I also understand that a reduction in stress, taking more rest and generally seeking to adopt a healthy lifestyle,. can improve this condition.  I am trying to do this as much as possible; and

 

o   I am concentrating upon making a positive effort to hear the “correct” frequencies. This is really a case of prolonged practice ... listen to the “right” stuff often enough, and it might train my ears to hear it, to the (at least partial) exclusion of unwanted sound...

 

·      Secondly, I previously used the words: “suffered a lot of losses”.

 

That is, of course, a passive expression (and perhaps, unduly negative).

 

I prefer to think of myself as “survivor”, and not a “sufferer”.

 

So far as other “losses” are concerned, I have dealt with (or am seeking to deal with) them.

 

So why should this one be any different?!

 

I just need to ensure that I follow advice and make personal adaptations.

 

If my “recovery” stops right now, I WILL DEAL WITH IT (in some way, or other...).

 

·      Although, I am confident that it will be completely unnecessary (and by a complete coincidence), I have just recommenced the study of British Sign Language (I studied, and achieved a qualification in it, a few years ago).

 


·      And finally, hearing loss can carry some benefits. 

 

Some things are, perhaps better left unheard...






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