“When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now”
I beg to differ...
First, I’ve been “losing my hair” for quite some time now!
As for getting “older”, well...
...hardly, “many years from now”!
I haven’t quite reached 64, but I’m well on my way!
Last month saw my 60th birthday!
As you can imagine, it was an eventful time, and it is worth making a few mentions of various birthday related happenings.
This is primarily a “what I’ve been up to” kind of post.
BUT
There is (as usual) a bit of underlying brain injury stuff. Nothing new, but it struck me as worthwhile to include it, in order further to contextualise, some earlier references to the issue.
First, on the day itself, I went out for lunch with 12 family members.
It was a lovely excursion, and I’m very grateful for everyone being there. Special thanks are due to my children and grandchildren, who all made long journeys, for that purpose.
As you might imagine though, the meal involved much conversation (from many different directions). This wasn’t too good for my now impaired mental energy. As a result, the evening of my birthday, didn’t involve any further celebration. Instead, I chose to spend it alone, other than in the company of beer and the television!
Moving on; a few days later, Clare had planned a couple of days away for us, in Winchester.
This was clearly very well thought out.
Winchester itself was right up my street.
The cathedral is marvelous (and very large), and a guided tour had been arranged, for us.
As reflected in the burials there, Winchester lies at the heart of much medieval history – a particular interest of mine.
Now another current interest of mine is also reflected in a Winchester cathedral interment...
Jane Austen.
I have read some of her books and am currently on Pride and Prejudice.
I am mightily impressed...
As an aside Jane Austen is not alone in that accolade. In the last view years, I have developed quite a taste for “Georgian chick-lit” – Brontes etc.
There was more to the Austen connection than seeing her grave. We also visited her former house, just outside of the city. It is now a museum dedicated to her, which was very interesting. It is also very beautiful, with lovely gardens.
Talking of which, Winchester has an enormous amount of beauty spots, and it seemed like the turn of almost every corner was the source of a sharp intake of breath!
And the trip didn’t only involve Winchester. On the way down, she took me to the lovely village of Tanworth-in-Arden.
There was a particular reason for this...
It was the home and is the final resting place (following his sadly, short life) of the musician Nick Drake
His profound and gentle music is very evocative of a past and pastoral England (as is the village). While it did not sell very well in his lifetime, it has come to be rather widely revered. In the light of this, his grave has become something of a place of pilgrimage for a certain type of person.
I must add that unlike say Jim Morrison’s grave in Paris, there is nothing whatsoever “tacky” about it. Rather than scrawl graffiti etc. visitors just lay flowers and write a few respectful words in the church visitors’ book.
The village similarly makes no effort to cash in, on its late son.
I had been keen to show my respects for years and am very grateful to have been afforded the opportunity to do so.
All in all, a thoughtful and gratefully received trip.
Also, being away for 2 days is not something that I have felt able to do for a long time.
Once again though mental fatigue had a role to play.
I spent much of the return journey, sadly ruminating on my situation, and particularly a return to remunerated care. As the journey neared its end, I unnecessarily voiced my thoughts. With hindsight, doing so wasn’t going to change anything, so why tarnish a couple of great days away.
It certainly strikes me as more than possible that 2 days of continuous activity had a negative effect on my eventual mood.
And finally in terms of birthday related activity, a few days later, a meal out with many friends had been arranged.
Quite separately, over the previous few weeks, I had devoted a fair bit of time to the organization of a sponsored walk, in favor of my Headway branch. Apart from all the background work I was set to lead the walk, on the day.
Despite having been given plenty of notice of the meal out, I failed to update my calendar, accordingly – now that’s a lesson to be learned!
As you might imagine, I agreed for the walk to take place on the same day as the meal!
I was therefore left with 2 significant activities (both involving considerable social interaction) near to one another.
As I’ve alluded to in the past, socialization can be very mentally draining for me...
I am pleased to that the walk...
...and the meal
both went very well.
The walk raised far more money than I expected, and if the feedback received is anything to by, it was widely enjoyed by its participants.
The meal out was also; a real source of pleasure and it was great to have so many very familiar faces all gathered together.
It wasn’t though the only planned activity for that evening. It was to be followed up by an immediate visit to the pub. This went ahead for the others; but I just felt ready for a taxi home and chose to miss out on the pub trip.
So, all in all, a great birthday – just a little marred by the effects of mental fatigue.
How could this have been better addressed?
Well, 2 simple things strike me...
First, do something about it
The key here, is proper time planning.
Mentally taxing activities should be properly spaced and the time to be spent on them, determined in advance (often limited).
Of course, some things are unavoidable.
But query...
· Is that really the case?
Can/should someone else do it, or at least help me?
· In so far as a particular activity is in fact necessary, what can I I do to mitigate mental fatigue? This may well involve a reduction of leisure activities on that day. By their nature, these can always be cut out.
I used diligently to prepare a weekly planner, setting out my proposed activities for each morning, afternoon and evening. This can of course, assist in the process of separating taxing activity and providing me with breathing space.
Problems...
· I have completely got out of the habit of preparing such a planner
· Even having prepared one, I don’t always stick to it
· Sometimes I underestimate the mental effort that will be involved in an activity
Rectification of the first 2 bullet points is obvious.
So far as the third is concerned:
· More prior consideration
· Seek and heed the advice of others
And...
To the extent that this doesn’t do the trick, learn a greater acceptance of the limitations that fatigue imposes!
I’m gradually learning this, and the aforesaid limitations of activity were indeed, self- imposed!
